The Internet is the most innovative technology to ever affect worldwide communication. Where Andrew Jackson had an artist rendering to inform the people of his appearance, Barack Obama has a MySpace page. And where once we had to imagine absurd sexual acts in our minds, we can now just get online and look up “life-size Ewok chess pieces licked by whore.”



The Internet has become a place for hypersexual porn addicts to fulfill all of their most asinine fantasies. There are more than 4.2 million pornographic Web sites, which constitute 12 percent of the World Wide Web. Eighty-nine percent of these pages are created in the United States. There are an estimated 260 new porn sites created daily. The porn industry brings in more revenue than Microsoft, Google, Amazon, Ebay, Yahoo!, Apple, Netflix, Earthlink, and The Weekly Volcano combined! But how, exactly, does that effect our major magazine distributors and our local porn stores?



Playboy enterprises began in Chicago, Ill., as purely a magazine. The magazine is now only a portion of Playboy’s business and counts as only one third of Playboy’s total revenue. Magazine sales for Playboy spiked in 1972 and have slowly decreased to the present day. Hustler is on a downward spiral due, in part, to Larry Flynt’s totalitarian approach to governing such an enterprise. And Club magazine is just silly.



I spoke to Elmo’s Adult Video & Books owner, Doreen, about the effects the Internet on her business. Doreen started Elmo’s bookstore in 1969 and now has five stores in our area where you can purchase an array of magazines, videos and toys for your sexual needs. Doreen was a pleasure to talk to but made me feel like I was interviewing my grandmother about triple-pronged dildos and vibrating “widow-makers.” She had an extremely soft tone and motherly delivery as she informed me that her video sales may have dropped some but the one service Elmer’s provide that took the biggest hit was the viewing booths — which is where someone can purchase a short screening of a pornographic movie in their own private room.



Now, thanks to the Internet, people can make their den a “viewing booth.”



The Internet has made it easy for someone to order movies at home without having to face a stranger at a shop. It’s a lot like buying condoms. I hate buying condoms. So, once every couple of years or so I go to a grocery store and buy multiple boxes. Then, after waiting patiently in line behind the Soccer Moms with their three 12-year-olds and the 80-year-old lady buying water crackers for tonight’s communion, I ask the teller if I can just buy the one banana I have in my hand rather than purchasing the entire bundle. You should try something like this. It gets quite a reaction.



The bottom line is, since the Internet became a prevalent source for purchasing porn, video sales have risen from 300 million units in 1999 to a staggering 957 million units in 2006. But little of that action is happening at hole-in-the-wall shops like Elmo’s.



This week, go to a local porn shop, look around, purchase 36 condoms and then ask the cashier to show you where the viewing booth is. Also, make sure that when you exit the booth one of the boxes is visibly open.



Call it going local.