Staying in shape is a bitch. Not all of us have the discipline or the wherewithal to create and maintain a workout regimen. Some hate to sweat. Some hate being around other people who sweat. Some of you are too hung over. Some simply can’t stand being around all these little gym hipsters who look like aerobics instructors or Muscle Beach gods.



Some simply can’t find a workout routine that works for them.



For some, it’s all of the above.



Morgan Hepfer may have a solution for you.



It’s called Crossfit Tacoma, and it employs the same training methods that the dudes in 300 used to look like Greek underwear models/killing machines.



Crossfit is marketed as a gym for the everyman/woman, and invites everyone to come down — especially people who are sick of getting on the elliptical next to the little, perfectly-toned sprites that inhabit most corporate gyms.



But Crossfit training doesn’t have to be mild, says Hepfer. Crossfit training methods are sometimes criticized as brutal — it’s used with almost cult-like enthusiasm by many law enforcement and military agencies.



Crossfit training is all about customization and tuning workouts to the individual. Grandma Josephine is welcome, and she’s encouraged to take it easy. But if you want to push yourself beyond your limits — a foundation of many workout programs — Hepfer and crew can help get you there. The program focuses on 10 essential results: power, speed, strength, cardiovascular endurance, coordination, accuracy, agility, balance, stamina and flexibility.



“We’re not specialists,” says Hepfer. “We want to be stronger, and faster and have more endurance.”



Those goals are achieved, says Hepfer, by constantly changing workout regimens. People arrive to find a range of exercises posted on the gym’s whiteboard — a few squats, some cartwheels, some box stepping, some stretches, and a bicep blast one day, and an entirely different routine the next day. Varying routines is all about avoiding the dreaded plateau, which is where you do the same exercise over and over again and it stops working.



“By constantly changing the workout, you never plateau,” says Hepfer. “When your body adapts, it becomes less effective. If you lift a certain amount of weight your body strengthens, but if you keep doing the same movements, you get diminishing returns. The secret is to change how fast you do it, or the sequence, or the weight. Your body is adapting always.”



The Crossfit Tacoma vibe seams to be an adaptation in and of itself. You won’t find banks of beeping, grinding, sweat-covered machines there, but you’ll find a tractor tire, medicine balls, and boxes to jump on. It’s like Rocky IV, where Sly Stalone goes into a suitably frontier-like, snow-covered wilderness to lift logs and rocks, while Dolph Lundgren works out on machines. Crossfit is bare-bones, and based on how many of these places are popping up, it’s what many people want.



Weightlifting includes complex, compound movements with heavy loads. Crossfit also uses kettlebells, gymnastics rings, pull-up bars and calisthenics. Crossfit may call on athletes to run, row, climb ropes, jump up on boxes, flip giant tires, and carry objects you’re not used to finding in a gym. If you’re considering it, and want to get real serious, know that workouts can be especially hard and fast, and pit members against one another as motivation. Scoring and ranking systems are posted daily on the Crossfit blog, showing who lifted what, who did how many cross-ups, etc.



“Whenever you work out — no matter what you’re doing — something is being measured,” says Hepfer. “We always want people to see results. You cannot come to this gym every day and not get fit.”



[Crossfit Tacoma, 411 Fawcett Ave., Tacoma, 253.310.1940]