As the popular saying goes: “Time flies when you’re full of hate.”



Admittedly, that’s not really how the saying goes. Leave it to the Weekly Volcano to bastardize even the most well known clichés. However, the sentiment of the bastardization is grounded in reality.



This Saturday, Jan. 24, Tacoma’s beloved metal-huffing, Satan-spooning hellions — the Church of Hate — will celebrate the band’s 10-year anniversary with a blood soaked show at Hell’s Kitchen. While it may seem tough to fathom, it has, indeed, been 10 years of hate — as the show’s promo posters suggest. Since 1999 the Church of Hate has been warping minds and eardrums in Tacoma and beyond.



What better time than Saturday night at Hell’s Kitchen to party?



This is just one of the many questions I posed to the band through the amazing powers of MySpace — only confirming my suspicion that the Rupert Murdoch owned social networking site is, in fact, a tool of the devil. During what I feel it’s safe and accurate to envision as a late night get-together in some dank, dungeon-like basement full of stacked amps, creepy prosthetic body parts and fake blood — the Church of Hate — as old and wise as ever — took a moment to relay some of their demonic emotions during this celebratory time.



“It’s crazy. We didn’t look into the future when we started. None of us expected to still be alive,” replied the band — in a statement I’m sure was intended to be read as a unison roar of shaved head, “wife beater” wearing, metal grinding fury. “Our fans are ill. Every show is so chaotic. That’s what keeps us going.”



Over the 10 years that have led up to this point, the Church of Hate has stayed plenty busy — especially for a band from Tacoma. They’ve released three full-length records, the appropriately titled First Six, Second Six, and Third Six, all of which have resonated with Tacoma’s metal legions and helped earn the band their loyal throng of followers. Along with the usual shocking shenanigans, depraved debauchery, grotesque gadgetry and all-around Bible blasphemy, expect the band to represent their entire lifespan in music when they take the stage Saturday.



“The night will consist of songs from our entire catalog, all 3 CDs. That’s what the fans have asked for the most,” says the Church of Hate. “We put the show together, and chose bands we like, our fans like, and bands we’ve played with a lot over the years. Hell’s Kitchen is our spot. Those guys run the best club around.”



 While Saturday’s show at the Kitchen will offer a fan-appreciated retrospective of the musical lifespan of one of Tacoma’s most controversial acts, don’t expect the Church of Hate to rest on their Jesus-hating laurels in 2009. The band is currently working on revamping the Church of Hate Web site and adding new touches and Satan-sanctioned improvements a new full length, due out this spring.



When asked how the Church of Hate plans to spend 2009, the band responds: “Re-editing our full-length album, complete with local re-mixes, live tracks, and new songs.”

And when asked if their hate ever waivers, and what the band currently hates the most, the answer comes naturally.



“FUCK NO!” screams the band. “The lack of scene. We all need more new bands to start the next generation.”



They have a point, but the next generation can invade Hell’s Kitchen some other night. Saturday will be all about celebrating 10 years of the Church of Hate.



[Hell’s Kitchen, the Church of Hate with Charlie Drown, the Hate Chamber and the Blackout Kings, Saturday, Jan. 24, 9 p.m., $7, 3829 Sixth Ave, Tacoma 253.759.6003]