It’s official. Bobble Tiki will never, ever, ever listen to Matt Driscoll again. You’d think Bobble Tiki would have learned this valuable lesson already, seeing as he’s worked with Driscoll for years and the guy has yet to offer anything even remotely helpful to Bobble Tiki, but sometimes lessons like these take a while to sink in. Bobble Tiki kept figuring Driscoll would eventually redeem himself through some bit of good advice — or at least buy Bobble Tiki a few drinks — but at this point Bobble Tiki has completely given up on both ideas. Driscoll is what he is, and Bobble Tiki’s going to avoid his “help” from this day forward.

If you sense a bit of anger and frustration in Bobble Tiki’s tone, that’s because both are there. This week, after returning from vacation, Driscoll told Bobble Tiki he “absolutely must” cover Portland’s 31 Knots — and specifically the band’s show on Thursday, Sept. 11 at Hell’s Kitchen. Anything else, Driscoll said, would be a mistake. 31 Knots is an awesome band, and an awesome group of guys, Driscoll said, and “Bobble Tiki will have no problem getting a hold of them for an interview.”
 

That’s where Driscoll led Bobble Tiki astray. 
 

He was right about a few things. For one, there’s no denying 31 Knots is — far and away — one of the best bands hitting town this week. Their herky jerky, mixed and matched, carnival-like aesthetic — coupled with the band’s insanely talented musicianship and genius song writing — is impossible to deny. Of all the bands that Portland — the hippest city on earth — has to offer, 31 Knots is one of the most creative and exciting. 31 Knots is easily on par with the likes of Menomena and Blitzen Trapper — and that’s saying something. In this regard Driscoll was correct.
 

Where Driscoll was wrong was the interview front. Apparently, a long time ago in a far away place — when Driscoll was working in Portland freelancing for the Portland Mercury and pretending he was much cooler than he actually was — he got the chance to meet and interview 31 Knots before a show at the Doug Fir. The band’s 2007 full length CD, The Days and Nights of Everything Anywhere, had just been released, and the band was touring in support. The situation was very similar to the current one.
 

That’s because on Aug. 19, 31 Knots released Worried Well, the band’s sixth full-length CD, and in early September headed out on the road in support.  At face value, the situation looks very similar to when Driscoll interviewed the band last year, and perhaps this is why he figured setting up an interview with 31 Knots would be no problem.
 

What Driscoll didn’t take into account was — when 31 Knots hits the road, they REALLY HIT THE FREAKIN’ ROAD. We’re not talking about a quick jaunt up and down the West Coast here; the band literally boarded a big ass plane and flew across the world — to Japan, of all places. They played the first Japan show of the tour Wednesday, and they’ll be rocking it in Asia for five nights before returning to the states for a show at Seattle’s Sunset Tavern on Sept. 10. The next night they’ll be in Tacoma, laying it down for what’s hopefully a large and frothing crowd at Hell’s Kitchen — if all is right in the world. 
 

Then, a week later, the band will be halfway across the world again, in Europe, for over a month of dates all across the historic continent. 
 

Now, that’s some touring. 
 

Amidst all of it — and the planning and preparation — you can imagine 31 Knots was hard to get a hold of.  Apparently Driscoll forgot to take this into account. While Bobble Tiki was able to make initial contact with the band, a full-fledged interview never happened. Because of this, Bobble Tiki has very little to offer this week that he hasn’t already given you. 

31 Knots is a jaw-dropping live band you’d be silly to miss.
 

The band’s new record puts their varied, frenzied and masterful sound on full display — yet again.
 

And Driscoll sucks.
 

That’s all Bobble Tiki’s got. Blame the guy with the cigarette dangling from his mouth on page 18.

As usual, Bobble Tiki doesn’t give a rat’s ass what you do this week because he doesn’t even know you. Unless you can explain to Bobble Tiki what book of ridiculous names Sarah Palin was looking at when she named her children, then Bobble Tiki’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to meet you. Deal with it. Check out www.weeklyvolcano.com for all your South Sound Internet desires, and consider that close enough. If you got any closer to Bobble Tiki you could see the wine stain from lunch on his shirt. How embarrassing. 

[Hell’s Kitchen, Trip The Light Fantastic, 31 Knots, Destruction Island, Umber Sleeping, Tex, Thursday, Sept. 11, 8 p.m., $5, 3829 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.759. 6003]