Ahoy, Buckos and lasses! Batten down t’ hatches fer a dose of t’ unexpected.

While usually ye turn to this bloody page in t’ Weekly Volcano fer t’ views and sheeted opinions o’ Bobble Tiki, today be a different day. Bobble Tiki be gone — tied up in t’ Cap’n’s quarters and livin’ on only crusty bread, bilge and sea water. He be clamoring fer his box o’ wine, but me pillagin’ buccaneer mateys not be givin’ in. Bobble Tiki twill be arrrrrr captive till Tall Ships Tacoma be seafarin’ history, if we don’t be forcin’ him to walk t’ plank ‘fore then.

In Bobble Tiki’s place this week be me, Bobble Blackbeard. Pirates love themed souvenirs as much as any landlubber, and when t’ pirates sailed der Tall Ships into Tacoma’s watery port, Bobble Blackbeard came with them.



But don’t ye worry, mateys. Bobble Blackbeard be up fer t’ job. Bobble Blackbeard knows ye’ve come to expect a high level o’ journalism from Bobble Tiki, and Bobble Blackbeard has ne’er t’ intention o’ lettin’ ye down. Besides, Bobble Blackbeard have a few things in common with both Bobble Tiki, and this week’s musical subject Teddy Lee Hooker, who will play Jazzbones on Thursday, July 3, the Freedom Fair in Tacoma on the Fourth of July, Jambalaya Restaurant in Parkland Saturday, July 5, t’ Cedarwood in Milton Sunday, July 6, and finally t’ Muckleshoot Casino Tuesday, July 8.



First of all, Bobble Blackbeard be a to-n-fro souvenir doll with a grog filled liver and t’ love fer t’ third person. If those be the reasons ye’ve come to love Bobble Tiki, ye ‘n’ Bobble Blackbeard should get along just fine.



Secondly, and this time related to Teddy Lee Hooker, Bobble Blackbeard was heavily influenced by his third sister’s, second husband (of only five months), Edward Teach — better known to t’ world as t’ pirate Blackbeard. Bobble Blackbeard (whose original name is Bobble Lee Jenkins) changed he pirate name to Bobble Blackbeard in ’02 to pay homage to his third sister’s second husband who influenced him so. Bobble Blackbeard’s head be full of fond memories o’ Uncle Blackbeard teaching him to pillage and plunder.



Dem were t’ days. Bobble Blackbeard owes t’ pirate he be today to t’ teachin’s o’ Uncle Blackbeard.



Much t’ same way, Teddy Lee Hooker credits t’ blues guitarist he be today to his sister’s husband during part of his childhood, t’ famous John Lee Hooker. (Pirates just love t’ song “Boom, boom, boom,” by t’ way.) Originally John Grimes, Teddy Lee Hooker took on his uncle’s last name aft’ an eye-opening open heart surgery at t’ age o’ 46.

According to t’ Web site, teddyleehooker. com:



Since taking the name ‘Teddy Lee Hooker,’ the blues guitarist formerly known as Ted Grimes has come full circle, back to his roots. At the tender age of 5, when other boys were playing with Tonka toys, Teddy was being schooled on the guitar by the late John Lee Hooker, who was then married to Teddy’s older sister Freda. Teddy recalls how John Lee baby-sat him while living with his family in Cleveland. “Unbeknownst to him, I would watch him practicing guitar in the living room. One day, he got up to use the phone and left his guitar plugged in and I went over and strummed it; it amazed me when these sounds came out of the amp. The next day, John Lee bought me a real acoustic guitar and said, ‘This is yours; now leave mine alone!’”



Like Bobble Blackbeard and his sister’s husband t’ pirate Blackbeard, Teddy Lee Hooker would likely have followed a different path had it ne’er been fer t’ influence of John Lee Hooker. T’ world could be a blimey different place fer both o’ thems. Who knows? Teddy Lee Hooker has placed second in t’ Southern California Blues Society’s International Blues Talent Show, and he’s been crowned “Best Blues Artist of the Year” by t’ South Bay Music Awards. If things be different, those could be Bobble Blackbeard’s accomplishments.



On t’ other hook, Bobble Blackbeard’s pillaged more booty than most bobble souvenirs see in der lifetime, and swilled more grog than Kelsey Grammar. If things be different, that could be Teddy Lee Hooker’s resumé.



Luckily fer t’ both of thems, things be how de be. Bobble Blackbeard loves bein’ a gentleman o’ fortune, and something tells Bobble Blackbeard that Teddy Lee Hooker loves bein’ a blues guitarist.



Judgin’ by his tunes, anyway. See fer yerself at one of Teddy Lee Hooker’s bounty o’ gigs this weekend.



Avast, ye scoundrels, Bobble Blackbeard cares not what ye do this week, cuz he don’t even knows ya. Unless you’s want to be kissing t’ gunner’s daughter, Bobble Blackbeard recommends keeping it that way. Check out www.weeklyvolcanospew.com for all yer South Sound Blogosphere needs (including t’ best Tall Ships Coverage in this bloody town), and consider yerself lucky. Bobble Blackbeard has pillaged far better souls than yours.