Yar! Some lily-livered King’s men on Pierce County Council’s Rules Committee have keelhauled a plan to raise land taxes to save wha’s left a farm land an’ such. They be sayin’ they’re nay naught sure about some parts and that thar homes isn’t worth what they was. Me be thinking they be scared a’ voters durin’ election time. The Dread Pirate Ladenburg be sayin’ twould cost $2 for a one with a $300,000 house. Arrr, what a bunch o’ scurvy dogs. MINUS 2



Th’ Pierce County Administrative Office of the Courts launched a new guarrrrdianship program where low-income mates deemed “incapacitated” by a judge can get help with their booty and assistance finding adequate lodging. PLUS 2



Arrgh! Those scurvy dogs at MultiCare Health System! Slouchin’ Iggy Cutler lost 53 pounds over ye last few months not drinking grog and running around ye ship at sunrrrise. Instead, the business gave Greg Rolsma of University Place th’ name of Pierce County’s “Biggest Winner” ‘cause he lost 46 pounds in some blymy contest. PLUS 1



The mates of Fife’s thriving metropolis shall soon have a place to shop for supplies. Within two years the city’s council hopes to sell a 3.79 acre parcel to the highest bidder who pledges to build Fife’s very first grocery store on th’ lot of land. Ahoy! Hopes are high that th’ next issue on the council’s agenda will be indoor plumbing and mandatory electricity. Yo-ho-ho! PLUS 2


Avast ye scags! Me be hearin ’bout these libraries where ye landlubbers go to find books fr’ free n’ read em. Well, them gimps at the Tacoma and Pierce County libraries made it so now a member a one library can get books from the other fr’ free. People were getting mad dat they had to go to two places an’ that the extra card made their arse look bigger from their fat wallets. Me eat books. PLUS 1



Arrrrr! T’ state gas increased by 1.5 cents per gallon dis week. All t’ doubloons ye landlubbers be shellin’ out to power yer combustion engines be makin’ me glad me mates and me drive a seafarin’ vessel. T’ increase brings Washington’s overall gas tax to 37.5 cents per gallon. Blimey! MINUS 2



Takin’ even more of ye booty, t’ toll to cross t’ new Tacoma Narrows Bridge increased by a dollar this week. For those scurvy dogs without a windshield transponder (whatever t’ ell that is), ye be prepared to pay $4 now. Ye mates with t’ blaggard transponder be prepared to pay $2.75. Either way, ye’s gettin’ pillaged. MINUS 3



Arrrrgh! Me be out a’ rum! MINUS 2



Total Pluses: 7            Total Minuses: 9



This Weeks Total: MINUS 2           Last Weeks Total: MINUS 5