True or false — four-star Tacoma steak houses serving $50 slabs of meat cruise through health inspections better than hole-in-the wall ethnic joints scraping out a living on the mean streets of Lakewood’s Ponder’s Corner.



False (you saw that coming). At said local wallet emptying place, inspectors recently discovered slack hand washing routines, improper cold storage temperatures, potential food contamination procedures, and an employee or two (didn’t say how many) without up-to-date food worker cards. Naughty-naughty.



Across town, at said slightly scary place, inspectors reported only expired food worker card(s). The previous two inspections turned up nothing.



Like they say, you can’t judge a restaurant by its PR company.



I sat down recently with food detectives from the Tacoma-Pierce County Health Department to learn more about restaurant inspections. They explained their online database (www.decadeonline.com/main.phtml?agency=tac), searchable by the name of every food establishment in the county and how the results of those eateries’ health inspection reports are public record. Back home, I spent an afternoon online perusing this site, checking out the places I like to dine.



I may never eat the same again.

Risky Business

Rose Silloway says “eating out is always a risk — but life is a risk.” Maybe not exactly the words you want to hear from a person that works at the health department — specifically employed to keep us safe. But, Silloway, a food safety supervisor, speaks the gospel — we take our chances eating food prepared by humans.



The most common diseases include Campylobacter (fever, diarrhea, abdominal cramps), Salmonelle (fever, diarrhea and possible life-threatening infections), E. coli (bloody diarrhea and possible kidney failure), Calicivirus (vomiting and diahhrea), and Giardia (stomach cramps, diarrhea and flatulence). Hungry?



Undercooked meats, fish not frozen at the right temperature, soups bubbling without release — a loogie burger should be the least of your concerns. What could happen behind closed doors in the kitchen may not only create an embarrassing situation for you in the public restroom, but literally, that appetizer in your hand right now could cause you to die from more than just shame.



And don’t bother asking Silloway if it’s okay to eat sushi.



“I wouldn’t touch it,” she says.

White glove treatment

The health department works to mitigate food borne pathogens by inspecting every restaurant, caterer and grocery store in the county one to four times a year (more if necessary). They arrive unannounced, like snooping mothers-in-law, looking for practices that lead to those things that give us the runs or worse.



After giving an establishment the third degree, the inspectors give color-coded warnings to the manager — blue ones provide early warnings — violations not directly related to food borne illness but which if left untreated could morph into something sinister. Red violations carry more weight — they require the staff to immediately correct the issue, and you can bet the inspectors plan to return in the next week or two to confirm things are ship-shape if a place sees too much red.



Eventually, 35 violations or more left unchecked turn to 24-hour shutdowns, which lead to six-month shutdowns. Silloway said those happen, but not too often.



“We always assume they don’t know they are in violation — we are there to educate,” Silloway said.

Tattle-tells

Feel queasy? (Not from this story, but from lunch.) Silloway encourages diners to help keep her staff in the loop. In between trips to the bathroom, folks may call the health department’s 24-hour phone line at 253.798.6500 and report a tummy ache.



Silloway cautions people from drawing conclusions.



“Most people believe that the last meal they ate made them sick, but that’s not necessarily true,” she says.



Diners must re-examine 72 hours of eating — that’s how far back something can affect you.

The health department looks for trends. When more than one person calls after getting sick at the same place, the team rolls into gear. Like fuzz on penicillin, they aggressively track down the ickiness to its source.



“It’s thrilling to find the cause of a problem,” says Diane Westbrook, prevention coordinator at the health department. “It’s real detective work.”



Book him, Dano!

The honest truth

Think about it. If every restaurant in the county receives a minimum of two to four inspections a year, the food you enjoy at your local restaurant must be safer than the spread you eat at your neighborhood block party on the Fourth of July.



“Right now, I am certain a mother is changing her baby on the dining room table where she’ll eat later today,” said Silloway. “And there’s nothing I can do about it.”



I think I’ll take my chances on the $50 steak and eat a whole lot more El Salvadoran food in Ponder’s Corner. And, just to be safe, I’ll dine out before attending my son’s next Cub Scout potluck.



Eat carefully out there.