If I were a candy bar, I’d be a Snickers.  And if I were a coffee drink I’d be an Americano.  But if I were a dive bar, I’d be Westgate Inn.

Bandito Betty and I have never had as much of a good, good time as we did on Tuesday evening with Jerry and his Westgate Inn.  Two words for you: Barstool Bingo.  Yes, it’s as much fun as it sounds, and the man-oh-man does that bar get packed.  By five o’clock the neighborhood couples start rolling in.

It’s like the Noah’s Ark of dive bars.  Two by two they line up at the bar and order drinks.  Not the cheap beer either — they’re ordering Dewar’s on the rocks, Crown and water, 7 and 7, all the good liquor.  And since it’s a Noah’s Ark, there must be a “Noah” type somewhere, right?  Oh, she was there, and her name was Millie.  They call her the “Westgate Inn Grandmother.”

Millie welcomed us, as did the rest of the friendly bar patrons.  When I told the bartender I was with the Weekly Volcano he said he didn’t know how to make that drink, but the daytime bartender might.

Every beer sign they had hanging up said “On tap” underneath it, yet Bandito was quick to notice that none of those beers were in fact on tap. 

The sliding glass door led to the back “smoker’s area” where Westgate Inn owner, Jerry, camped out and welcomed people entering from calling out over the fence.  But of course, these people were entering through the secret side door.  You remember?  The one only the regulars know about.  And now Bandito and I know it as well.  We love the Westgate Inn.

Westgate Inn

5928 N. 26th St., Tacoma, 253.756.7072

Food: no idea
Service: amazing
Beers: standard domestics, Redhook, Windemere

Bar Exam Dive Grade: A