Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

Dashing through the snow.

We three kings of Orient are.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

I can’t stand that crap.



I grew up in a fundamentalist Catholic family, and I was blessed at a very, very young age with the ability to sing soprano, alto and tenor.



With those kinds of vocal skills, I was always the lead soloist in the uptight choir.



Some of my strongest childhood memories are of standing on the balcony of our church in the dark with a white dress, tissue paper wings and a garland halo. The spotlight would blast in my face, and I would sing “Angels we have heard on high,” you know, the “in excelsis deo” song.



But as I got older, the other outfit that I donned, yes, a Catholic school uniform, got so tired and so did the guilt of the religion and Christmas music overall.



Especially as a teenager, I lashed out against the aforementioned confinements during the month of December, and I would ROCK.



When you zoom in and you take a closer look at my life now, you’ll see that nothing’s changed since those rebellious days. The only holiday song I ever listen to is Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis,” and I’m happy to tell you that Tacoma is going to help me out during the month of December with a bunch of really good music.



Thus, the month of December is without a doubt the scene of the crime!



What am I talking about?



There’s an awesome assemblage of shows that are piling up during this last month of 2007, each of which will help me carry on the tradition of ROCKING December.



Just yesterday, the Supersuckers played at Hell’s Kitchen. That was sweet!



Tonight, Dec. 6, U277, a U2 cover band will be decking the halls of the Swiss.



I’ll set aside all of this anti-holiday sentiment for one night in December as the Blue Mouse hosts The CANS Film Festival Thursday, Dec. 13, a fund-raiser for the Emergency Food Network with a screening of “White Christmas” plus specials from the Pacific Grill. It starts at 6:30 p.m.



But back to the volume, The Red Elvises, my FAVORITE Russian rock ’n’ roll band will light up the Swiss Dec. 17.



Dec. 21 and 22 the Tacoma group that has reunited (YES!), Seaweed, will hit the stage at Hell’s Kitchen. Nice!



Dec. 27, The F***ing Eagles will tear up the Top of Tacoma Bar. That’s F***ING SWEET!



Then, to end this rocking month, on Dec. 31, The Paperboys and Vicci Martinez will ring in the new year at Jazzbones.



So turn off all of the continuous holiday music crap that’s playing on Warm 106.9 FM and get out and hit the T-Town December scene with me!