ANNOUNCER: There’s nothing the boys like better than eating among throngs of farm animals hooting and hollering in their pens. Give them some fried onions on a hamburger and a 500-pound pig named Daisy, and they are in heaven. So, it’s easy to understand why most of September you’ll find them at the Puyallup Fair enjoying good old fashion fair food between rides up the Extreme Scream.



JASON: Yep, the smell of straw and cow chips melding together with corn dogs and cotton candy — it makes me salivate just thinking about it.



JAKE: That was more than just saliva I saw coming out your nose last night.



JASON: I don’t even know where to start.



JAKE: Try a Handiwipe and some Binaca Blast.



JASON: I think my favorite fair item every year is the Young Life pies behind the cow barn near the Agricultural Hall. They sweeten the pies with juice and serve them thick and big. By far, I think the apple is best, but the rhubarb comes in a close second.



JAKE: Pizza, Italian sausage sandwich, Krusty Pups, Kosher deli sandwich, gyro, scone-tossing ladies with pungent perfume, Greek pastry with spinach and feta, hummus, chop suey, long-slow-cooked sweet corn, corn dog wrapped in sweet breading, elephant ear and deep fried dough. …



JASON: Jake, try sticking your head between you knees and taking a deep breath. Speaking of corn, that’s another favorite of mine. Over by the water splash ride is a place where they bake the corn inside their husks.



JAKE: Caribbean chicken, Meyer’s hamburger, chickensicles, kettle corn, candied apples, short-lined juice bars, deep-fried Twinkies, long-lined soft ice cream, tangy barbecue ribs, entire family munching on cinnamon rolls wandering through the pig barn, beer-battered onion rings, fudge, fudge and more fudge. …



JASON: Jake, if you don’t call someone, I will.



JAKE: Scones, Mongolian chicken, fried veggies, taffy, Philly steaks, freshly-shampooed mullet hairstyles, more meat on a stick, sweat pouring, blurry vision, head spinning — I’m down. …



JASON: Can I have your office? As Jake mentioned, scones at the fair are a big seller despite the fact I swear they shrink every year as the price inflates. Still, the warm bread combined with sweet jam is enough to make the fair experience perfect no matter what else happens. And around here, it’s common courtesy to bring home extra scones for friends and family.



[Look left for Puyallup Fair details, geesh]