Bratz: The Movie

Before we begin, a few reminders about “Bratz: The Movie.”



1.    It is inspired by a line of fashion dolls. 

2.    The project has been linked to Paula Abdul. 



I say this in an effort to manage your expectations.  You will find nothing in this movie even approaching the sensibility — or sensitivity — of, say, 1995’s “Clueless.”  But if you are a tween viewer looking for parties, dance numbers and sparkly clothes so mismatched that they must be in fashion, then OMG!  Get your tickets now. 



The four best friends forever — Yasmin, Sasha, Cloe and Jade — have been inseparable since they met, bound by their passion for fleeting fashion trends.  They insist that they “express themselves” through clothing.  It’s probably no coincidence that they look smashing in everything, too. 



When they enter Carry Nation High School as freshmen, however, they are immediately targeted by head mean girl Meredith Baxter Dimly (Chelsea Staub), who is also the principal’s daughter (Jon Voight — yes, Jon Voight).  She rules over a student body with “48 distinct cliques,” ranging from the usual goths and jocks to “disco dorks” and, my favorite, “the ones who like to dress like dinosaurs.” 



In several ways, “Bratz: The Movie” strikes a delicate balance.  The satire about high school society is sharp and funny — yet not so vicious as to scare off junior high schoolers.  The romantic interests (a hot deaf guy and a curly-haired fellow who could have been a Brady) are unthreatening subplots, as they should be.  The movie has important messages — Be yourself!  Stick by your friends!  Fight peer pressure! — but nothing so heavy that it will distract from the dance extravaganzas. 



Frivolous, and ultimately forgettable?  Of course.  But if this movie is about high school tolerance, then superficial teenagers deserve our compassion, too. 

Rated PG-13 for thematic elements. Two and a half stars – Paige Wiser



My Best Friend

"My Best Friend" tells the story of Francois, a man who has no friends at all.  Who tells him that?  All of his friends, at his birthday party.  Once they get started on the subject, they bluntly confess they don’t like him.  No, not even his business partner.  Don’t like him, and never have.  Francois is stunned; obviously he never really knew what friendship was.  He confused it with acquaintanceship, maybe, or partnership, or people he spent a lot of time with. 



Francois is played by the sad-eyed Daniel Auteuil, one of the most familiar faces in French films (recently he starred in “Cache,” that intriguing film about the man who received anonymous videos of himself and his family).  As an actor he is so flexible he can move from playing the sad-sack antiques dealer in this picture to playing Napoleon in the next film he made. 



Here he is a man so alone and lonely that when he finds he has no friends, he is compelled at an auction to pay a small fortune he can’t afford for a Greek vase whose owner commissioned it in memory of HIS best friend “and filled it with my tears.”  I am reminded of Daniel Curley’s novel “A Stone Man, Yes,” with a title inspired by a man eternally chasing his love around a Greek vase; good enough for a stone man, yes, but not for one of flesh and blood. 



Francois’ partner, Catherine (Julie Gayet), doubts Francois’ claims that he does indeed have a best friend.  Appalled by how much he has put their company in debt, she makes him a bet.  Unless he can produce a true and convincing best friend in 10 days, he will have to give her the vase.  Fair enough.  But the search goes badly; his best friend at school, tracked down after many years, turns out always to have hated him. 



One day Francois gets into the taxi of Bruno (Dany Boon), who has an opinion on everything.  Francois is put off by the man’s assurance and nonstop chattering, but when they meet again and again (coincidences are invaluable in movies), the driver begins to intrigue him, and eventually he hires Bruno as a tutor to teach him how to make friends.  Of course the driver takes the job; there is nothing about human nature that the French do not think they know.  The lessons are the stuff sitcoms are made of, and “My Best Friend” seems destined to be remade by Hollywood. 



The film unfolds easily, with affection for the man no one likes, and at 95 minutes, it doesn’t overstay its welcome.  It was directed by Patrice Leconte, who makes intelligent films combining sympathy for his characters with a quick wit, a dark undertow and a love of human peculiarity.  He told me that on his tombstone he wanted the words: “This man loved to make movies.”  And he said: “I believe a filmmaker is like a chemist.  You mix elements that have nothing to do with each other, and you see what will happen. ... Sometimes it blows up in your face.” 



Let me interrupt the flow of this review to mention some of his titles I think are extraordinarily good, and the way they combine opposites: “Monsieur Hire” (shy bachelor and bold sex object), “The Hairdresser’s Husband” (man obsessed with hairdressers and a hairdresser), “Ridicule” (a landowner and the king), “The Girl on the Bridge” (suicidal girl and circus knife-thrower), “The Widow of Saint-Pierre” (condemned man and governor’s wife), “The Man on the Train” (criminal and quiet loner) and “Intimate Strangers” (psychiatrist mistakes accidental visitor for client).  Three of those titles have been on my annual Best 10 lists. 



Certainly Francois and Bruno have nothing to do with each other.  Or perhaps they do, but Francois with his blinders wouldn’t notice it.  As for Bruno, his lifelong obsession with facts and figures and dates is interesting; by knowing enough about the surface of the world to appear on a quiz show, he can avoid the depths. 



These two men need each other.  We know that.  Patrice Leconte knows that.  But do they know that?  Thinking about the casting, if there’s a Hollywood remake, I’m thinking Robert Downey Jr. as Francois and Adam Sandler as Bruno.  Rated PG-13 for some strong language. Three Stars – Roger Ebert