I have decided to dabble with a subject near to my heart: the unusual number of people who feel free to offer unsolicited advice to restaurant owners. For some weird reason, other trades don’t seem to get the well-meaning, know-it-alls we do. Think about it. Have you ever walked up to the owner of a hair salon and recommend they carry a certain line of hair care products? Or perhaps told the proprietor a home interior store, “Oh, the Brand X candle line is much better than this one. You really should consider carrying it.”

I don’t know, maybe some of you are ballsy enough to do that, but not me. I get this stuff on a weekly, sometimes daily basis, so perhaps I know better. Not to say that you can never offer your well-intentioned advice to those of us in the culinary trade, or any other trade for that matter; but just remember: as with a beautifully prepared meal, presentation is EVERYTHING.

For example, some time back a new customer pointed to a wine on my menu and in her infinite wisdom proceeded to tell me why I shouldn’t carry it. She then “offered her thoughts” about a few menu items. I politely asked her if she owned her own restaurant or ever had. She replied no. I then gave her the option to buy mine. She declined nicely, and that was the end of that.

We are not stupid people. We know you like to offer thoughts and suggestions, and for the most part your intentions are good. I believe many of you are living vicariously through us. There is a huge fascination about owning a restaurant. Please remember, however, we are like everyone else and we don’t like to be told what to do.

Here are a few tips to get your point across without causing a stir: stay away from phrases like “you should,” “this would be better,” or “what would REALLY make this place nice,” to mention a few. Instead, how about, “I read this in Food and Wine magazine the other day. Did you happen to see it? What a great concept. I would really like to see someone do this.” See how easy it is?

Most of the time we can handle the suggestions if they are from a friend or regular customer. But if you are new or have only dined a few times at a particular restaurant, and you offer your unsolicited advice, THIS is what makes our veal stock boil. However in this next scenario, it really didn’t matter where the suggestion came from. Our well-intentioned customer was doomed from the beginning.

A friend used to frequent a local pizza establishment until one day he decided to tell the owner about a few comments he had heard on the street about his restaurant. Now, this person also worked in the restaurant business and LOVED this pizza place. My friend was not passing judgment or making his own recommendations to the owner. He was merely sharing what he had heard. The owner flipped out. Needless to say, my friend has never returned. Neither have many other good customers.

NOTE TO OWNERS: Please try to carry yourself with grace and dignity. Despite our ranking as the third largest city in the state, this is a small town. If you don’t know this by now, don’t set up shop here and expect this type of thing to not get around and cause a stir. When someone offers his or her thoughts, nod and say thank you for the 411 (or in my case, offer to sell your restaurant to them). Believe it or not, there might be something to the rumor. I have said it before, and I will say it again: there is a fine line we walk in this business. Just try not to trip over it.

Eat out Tacoma. We need your love.



Sandee Glib has worked in the restaurant and hospitality industry for more than 12 years as a server, bartender, cook and owner. Her opinions are expressly her own and she is always right.