I’m not sure whether the 30-something across from me at the Wild Orchid knew that the top half of her nipple was exposed. I certainly didn’t point it out to her, because that wouldn’t have been good for either one of us. No, I thought the thing for me to do in a situation like that was to keep looking at the nipple. Take a sip of my Ying Yang Martini, look at the nipple. Gaze around the sidewalk patio for a while, look at the nipple. Bend my swizzle stick into a boob, look at the nipple.

Yes, thankfully it’s summertime with its low cut dresses and outdoor dining. And thankfully the Wild Orchid has outdoor seating where I can enjoy its delicious sweet and spicy exotic Thai concoctions beneath the earth’s sun. 

And let me give thanks to the Wild Orchid’s Ying Yang Martini. After two of these half vodka, half gin with a waive of extra dry vermouth puppies served in a martini glass with four olives, I didn’t care that the 30-something finally busted me gazing.  She gave me a look like I was Chaka from “Land of the Lost.”

Ying yang her low hitch was dead.



[Wild Orchid, 3023 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.5889]