Let’s take a glance at the new Latin dance/World Beat Night at Jazzbones:

1. Latin music and hips, when mated, produce wiggly, gyrating offspring (often concealed beneath tight black pants or short skirts).

2. Latin music speaks a sensual language, perhaps best received while gazed at from the balcony at the dancers below while trying to think of all the dirty words you know in Spanish.

3. Even the most arrhythmic wallflower can learn to stamp feet and shake hips where salsa music has staked its claim.

4. Witness those who wander in for the sushi bar and meet those who wander in for the tapas specials. Will they share? Will they pull hair?

In truth, no one should be forced to make such a decision. Nor do you need to.

[Jazzbones, Thursdays, 7 p.m. lessons, 8 p.m. dance, all ages, no cover, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.396.9169]