To be honest, the Original Roadhouse Grill isn't really a roadhouse at all. A true roadhouse is a place on the outskirts of town that serves booze and food and often offers gambling and/or sex on the side. There's no evidence of such illicit goings-on here. Still, the League of Liberal Libations recommends this Federal Way restaurant if your crew is looking for huge meals, a lively crowd and throwing peanut shells on the slippery, greasy cement floor.



There are five giant drinks listed among the "Saloon Specialty Drinks" at the new Original Roadhouse Grill in Federal Way — 32 ounces of Bootlegger Tea, Hillbilly Punch, Luckenbach lemonade, Original Roadhouse KoolAid, and Original Roadhouse Golden Ride.  The Hillbilly Punch arrives in a giant Mason jar loaded with Peachtree Schnapps, Amaretto, Bacardi rum, cranberry juice, sweet and sour, and Sprite. It tastes like Gatorade.



Does the staff drink Hillbilly Punch before their regular line dancing intervals on the main dining room floor? 



I check to see if they are perspiring in red.  Nothing.



"Um, will this turn my tongue red?" I ask the bartender.



"No," he replies, busying himself with everything except tending bar. I walk into the men's restroom and stare back at my red tongue.



Brilliant.



[Original Roadhouse Grill, 31525 20th Ave. S., Federal Way, 253.529.7794]