The latest location for the Original Roadhouse Grill is a killer. It's in the Federal Way retail bottleneck, at the back of some plaza that sits like a box canyon; shoppers, diners, and moviegoers alike all funnel into this zone off 320th and Highway 99, half blind from wholesale excess, wondering where they can eat. The Original Roadhouse Grill, born in Gresham, Ore., has to compete with numerous other restaurant chains in that mess.

The atmosphere will win many restaurant choice battles.

At last Friday night’s Roadhouse Grill private opening, I witnessed the kind of chaos that would completely shatter any normal restaurant crew: dining rooms filled to capacity, marketing crew bottlenecking the lobby, people slipping on the ice outside, people slipping on the greasy, peanut shell littered concrete floor inside, and the bathrooms blocked by the staff’s periodic line dancing routine.  Craziness.  But this staff is trained well.  My cute, redheaded server answered every question, gave quick service and all with a smile.

Like the other 15 Roadhouse locations, the new Federal Way location is designed for a roadhouse feel — although it needs to be beaten up a bit for a true roadhouse feel.  It’s too slick.  It needs a few beer bottles thrown at its walls.  Maybe some spilled chew cups, blood and lipstick should be incorporated somewhere.  Indoors tin roofs and old road signs set a tone, but it still needs roughing up a bit.

The portions and drinks are as big as a roadhouse.  Categorized in trucker lingo — Short Hauls for appetizers, Extra Cargo for sides, The Garage for pork chops and salmon (?) — the plates arrive large, stacked with juicy prime rib, typical burger variations, and Midwestern corn-fed beef.  The Petite Filet Mignon arrived bland.  Specialty drinks arrive in 30-ounce mason jars.  Beers stand tall in 23-ounce glasses. 

Owner Ralph Cimmarusti, who owns original Roadhouse Grills up and down the West Coast including a Lacey location next year with his brother Larry, broke the roar last night with a speech.  “This is our first entry into Washington state,” he stated, “and we chose Federal Way. The city welcomed us and did a great job.

“On Monday, 50 percent of all sales will be donated to the Federal Way Boys & Girls Clubs.”

Fifty percent of last night’s bar bill went to the Boys & Girls Clubs too.  Those kids will do well off the Weekly Volcano’s table alone.  Carmen Jones and Suzy Stump were well over 100 ounces each.

Entrees range in price from $12 to $21, burgers and entrée salads hover around $9, and Short Hauls are $5 to $7. — Jake de Paul

[Original Roadhouse Grill, 31525 20th Ave. S., Federal Way, 253.529.7794]